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Salamoalaikum, I am married for around 12 years. We have 2 girl-childs. We both are into business & both contribute equally towards household expenses. We live a modest & humble lifestyle. Both of us loved each other very much although our close-relatives played spoilsport in our lives all these years, by negatively brainwashing my wife against me. My wife's mother & sister spread false & baseless rumours against me in the family that I don't earn anything thus maligning my image. Since last 14 months, my wife's attitude & behaviour has completely changed towards me & she refuses to have sex with me. I am frustrated due to lack of physical intimacy with her. She has become very rude & arrogant, very opposite to her actual nature which was soft, polite & humble. Please help & provide your valuable guidance to win back my wife's love again. Allah haafiz |
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Walikum Assalam, Brother, Sorry to say but you looked me biased. Are you really sure that there was not a single fault of yours own? Because it really didn't click me that why would your mother and sister in law try to damage the married life of her daughter. However I am quoting you couple of Hadith (S.A.W) that you can tell your wife, But remember if you tried to force your wife or tount her regularly or used the sayings of Holy Prophet (S.A.W) or quotations from Holy Qur'an for your advantage and you denied all her rights and you only talk about your rights then INSHALLAH you will be destroyed. Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 4.460 The Messenger of Allah (saws) said, "If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the angels will curse her till morning." Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.122 The Prophet (saws) said, "If a woman spends the night deserting her husband's bed (does not sleep with him), then the angels send their curses on her till she comes back (to her husband)." |
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the angles either curse or spit at the woman who denies her husband sex until morning because you know how we act and how hard it is to resist temptation. try to sort things out but if nothing works talk to her well you should have done that first actually. BY THE WAY I AM 16 AND KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MARRIAGE. |
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Dear brother, I can understand your situation. Marriage takes tremendous effort and has its moments of ups and downs; we all have experienced it at some point in our lives. The problem in intimacy is closely related to two things; you have become comfortable with each other, and communication. When you are married in your first years you are on your better behavior, are kind considerate and are willing to make them happy. You talk to each other surprise each other and cherish life, that brings about intimacy and not just mechanical relief of sexual urges. When you take each others presence for granted and are just living like roommates then intimacy slowly diminishes. So treat your wife the way you treated her in the first years of marriage and talk to her where things went wrong and voice your concerns. Most importantly make dua for troubles in marriage to be al right. |
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