AssalamoAliekum, I'm a 20 years old boy from Pakistan and I'm not sure if my problem is a "problem" or I do need to see a psychiatrist.. The thing is that I don't feel alot towards feminity.. It's not that I'm gay, or that I'm isolated.. It's just I don't think I feel the way I should feel about women..
It's like, my friends and all the people, they're like watching these dirty song videos and exposed bodies and when I ask "What do you gain from this lust?", They give me weird looks and say it's natural in this age to feel excited about this "anti-gender" attraction and if I can't feel it there's some hormonal or mental problem with me..
It's not that I'm a neat and clean person I watch movies myself, I do all the entertainment but when it comes to girls I mostly try not to look at them.. I'm new to university and I've faced co-education for the first time and it's like everywhere I notice there are boys tailing girls and making couples.. It all makes me feel insecure, not because I don't/can't get a girl for myself, but because I feel worried about them (worried in a way that what if they don't get to marry their boyfriends/girlfriends, they would be impure towards their original life partner)
So the insecurity I actually feel is that what if I get a girl who's impure.. Who has been in such relationships before marriage and the thought of "my wife in relationship with other guys" kind of hurts.. I know its not my age to think about such stuff but I can't help myself, the way these people are doing these things I don't think there'd hardly be a chance I get a clean girl..
How do I keep myself safe from such thoughts, how do I put my insecurity at comfort?
Salam, You need to do theses more... -pray -dua -helping other muslim(zakat,clothing the unclothing muslim, feeding the hungry muslim and much more.....) -remember Allah everywhere as much as you can Stay away from you friend which will mislead you from islam -practise islam as much as you can - read islamic book (such as women is islam men in islam and so much more book.....) - Try to give your mind a bit rest - Be creative....(family,maths,science,art, and etc.....) - Avoided listen to dirty clip - Try to listen to islamic clip like I do... - Read the Quran
There is so many things you can do to stop your self thinking about think which worries you, talk to someone who you feel confident and you think they will help you, I will also advice you to stop thinking about things which you shouldn't be thinking about it yet. Brother there is Allah who will help theses muslim who are doing theses things you mention and to be honest there will thousand of girl who will be doing theses things you don't like which one will you stop..
Making dua for Allah to give you a good family and a good wife just like our belove muhhmadnp swa . Ask Allah to give you wife you clean heart and clean mind and so much more.......
If you think you can't bear to see theses things around you because it going to upset you and and it will cause to be stressed then leave that place and ask Allah for help.
Salam and thanks hope that help. Please remember me,my family and every muslim in ur dua...
Take a big breath and then move All theses feeling gently away from your brain by thinking about Allah and islam or other things....(think about things that will keep your mind away from things you don't like)