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Salam, My wife is not intresed in intercourse and does not respond to my requests. i dont want to be cruesl also or force her but since i cannot control also for long....what should i do in this case |
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Salam Alaykum obviously you shouldn't force her. Just a question, how long have you been married? How did you meet you'r wife? How did you end up marrying your wife? Assalamu Alaykum |
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Salam forcing is disliked, and why this happens, she should not ignore, she can ignore only at those times which are permitted by Islam. |
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Assalamu Alaykum, i have been married three years now and it was a arranged marriage. she ignores beacuase she upsets from very petty issues and stops all communicatio with me and physical contact. then after a while say about two weeks she gets normal but a while say 7-10 days she then finds a way to be upset and the same thing goes on. this has been going on from start jazzak allah, may allah bless you for helping. |
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Salam Alaykum Ah that is why I asked how you met your wife and how you married because I had an idea that this was an arranged marriage. And therein lies the problem. You say it started from start. It is important to know that in Islam a woman has to give her free and unforced consent to marry. She is not allowed to be forced to marry someone she does not want. Islam recognizes emotions such as love. You should have spoken to her one on one and asked her if she really wants to marry or even marry you. Arranged marriages dont always work out because marriage is usually forced and people who might not be compatible with one another end up trying to live the rest of their lives together. I hope you see what I am getting at. Maybe you should have a real, honest chat with your wife and see if she even wanted to marry you. I honestly would not, if someone arranged a wife for me, marry that women if she does not want to marry me. Allah loves a happy home, and forcing people to live together will not be happy. Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: "A virgin came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) allowed her to exercise her choice. (Translation of Sunan Abu-Dawud, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 11, Number 2091)" "O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may take away part of the dower [money given by the husband to the wife for the marriage contract] ye have given them, except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good. (The Noble Quran, 4:19)" It was narrated that Buraydah ibn al-Haseeb said: A girl came to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and said: My father married me to his brother’s son so that he might raise his own status thereby. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) gave her the choice, and she said: I approve of what my father did, but I wanted women to know that their fathers have no right to do that. also check this out http://islamqa.info/en/ref/163990 Anyhow the problem here is obviously the arranged marriage. Have an open and honest discussion with your wife. Do you really want to ignore it and continue to live in this way. Communication is the best tool. TALK TO EACHOTHER May Allah provide what is best for you and your family. May Allah give you and your wife justice. Ameen. Assalamu alaykum |
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